Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is the most satisfyingly bad movie I’ve ever seen

As a kid it was one of my favorites because I had a huge crush on Lara and Angelina Jolie. It was full of action, it looked cool, it had cool music, it was a history mystery- easy money for a 10 year old in 2001.

But damn, it was on IFC today and I got sucked in knowing it was bad… just not how bad it is. For one, it’s riddled with abysmal, embarrassing dialogue that is unintentionally hilarious ("My ignorance amuses me." Uh????) and the action is just so, so stupid. There’s a whole matrix style fight scene in her mansion foyer where Lara fends off black ops style invaders armed to the teeth, with a knife, all while dangling from bungee chords that she regularly dances on before bed???

I mean, she has a robot and a hologram training room, at one point she full on whips her motorcycle inside her garage after jumping it off her Porsche, and then kills two dudes with a screwdriver fired out of a drill. It’s just nonsensical and awful and I cannot recommend it enough for a fun, mindless popcorn movie.

Bonus: there is a “sand, gets everywhere” line, verbatim, a year before Attack of The Clones came out and she does the Spider-Man corner pose on the bungee lines before Sam Raimi made it his own in Spider-Man a year later.

It’s just a delightfully terrible movie and is one of the highest grossing video game adaptations ever.

Edit: it also features a young Daniel Craig and Iain Glen

Submitted February 24, 2024 at 11:35PM by HaydenScramble https://ift.tt/BEYjcU9