What movies suffer from Originitis? Where they take far too long to arrive at the premise, as if they're embarrassed to even get there? AKA Surf Dracula Syndrome

There's a tweet that will forever reside in the back of my brain, as it gives a name to a annoyance found in adaptations and reboots.

"back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale "

This is an issue where a movie or series takes too long to arrive at the selling point. Where the cool scene in the trailer showing the lead don his signature costume is actually the last scene in the movie. When it hits the closing credits you feel like you've just finished the prologue of a larger story the producers want to tell, but probably won't because aborted franchises are a dime a dozen. Or a director or showrunner don't really care about the IP they've been handed, so they shove in the iconic elements of the work in the back-end of the movie.

Deadpool (2016) is a strong origin story because the only thing that changes about the lead character is him getting the red costume and super-cancer. He's the same cocky smartass from start to finish, and I wish those Kick Ass movies had had the bright idea of killing off that loser in the title and just focusing on Hit-Girl.

Men in Black (1997) is perfect. While it's largely about a pre-slap Will Smith's induction into the MIB, it is firmly about the aliens from the first scene. It's a tight ninety minutes and there's no delay to any action, humour, or extraterrestials.

Halloween (2007) is an otherwise forgotten remake directed by Rob Zombie. The film devotes its first half entirely to the cliched backstory of Michael "Not Mike" Myers before reheating the original in an abridged and nastier way. Imagine if they remade Jaws, but the first half was a nature documentary on sharks. Nobody cares where the slasher villain came from, the audience just wants to see them in their element. Mid-genre shifts work better when there is an actual thought process to the twist. Like how Predator begins as a macho gunfest, before cleverly shifting into a thoughtful horror-thriller.

Spider-Man has been a popular character since 1962. For the last thirty years the comic editors have tried the impossible feat of ruining the appeal of the character. We're talking stupid shit like a soap opera with clones, Peter Parker making a deal with the devil, Mary Jane dying from radioactive semen, and Peter getting his ass kicked by some guy called Paul. Still, the character endures and is better served by the many cartoons, video-games, and motion-pictures that bear his name.

The Raimi movies remain beloved for going all in on the ham and camp, while still holding a beating heart. The train scene might be ridiculous with the facial expressions, but your eyes won't be dry at its ending. With that in mind, what was the point of the Amazing Spider-Man (2012)? It all but remade the first Raimi film from a decade earlier, and dragged its feet while doing so. It takes 45 minutes for Uncle Ben to go out for some milk. Afterwards Spidey goes off to fight a green supervillain in a graveyard, just like he did ten years earlier in a different continuity.

A rule of thumb is that the more known a superhero is in pop culture, the less time needs to be spent belaboring their backstory. The comic All-Star Superman devotes one page, consisting of four panels and eight words, to telling Supes' background before it segues to the main event. "Doomed Planet. Desperate Scientists. Last Hope. Kindly Couple." is simply perfect.

Fan4stic (2015) was a colossal failure whose troubled production would make for a documentary more watchable than the final film. You know something went wrong backstage as it takes half the runtime for the team to finally teleport to Planet Zero where they undergo their horrific transformations. The big clash with Doom doesn't happen until the last fifteen minutes of the movie.

I can understand if takes a while for the alien to show up in a horror movie, but what movies or TV shows take the piss in how long it takes to get to the premise that was advertised?

Submitted February 18, 2024 at 12:16AM by daughterskin https://ift.tt/tKpx87e