A Thought I Had Watching the Oscars Last Night

Imagine: It's Oscar Night 2013, and you're told that in only ten years the Best Picture winner will be a heartwarming action comedy about universe-jumping. A pivotal scene involves two characters engaged in highly-choreographed martial arts to determine who can be the first to shove a dildo up their ass. It wins Best Original Screenplay.

The movie stars Short Round, the woman from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and Jamie Lee Curtis. They all win Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress and Best Actress.

It's directed by the guys who did the Turn Down For What video. They win Best Director.

The only top award this movie doesn’t win goes to Brendan Fraser for a performance in a movie directed by Darren Aronofsky.

I’d be shitting my pants with anticipation. It sounds even better than it actually is.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

Submitted March 14, 2023 at 05:47AM by i_amtheice https://ift.tt/tsB8vmC